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  • Writer's pictureAmy Dixon

Stop blaming everyone else for your failed relationships and deal with your sh*t!

Your exes aren't crazy, you don't have the worst luck on earth, you don't pick wronguns and the chaos is you.

If you suffer from a continuous cycle of bad short relationships and you are suffering from same issues over and over, it's time to look within.

If you cheat on your partners (even just a little bit), make your partner feel inadequate, feel jealousy, sabotage relationships and end relationships abruptly.

If you hide behind your phone, ghost, are dishonest or play a game of chess with your partners its time to a get yourself some personal coaching.

I'm not saying that you should want to settle down and get married, I'm saying you are likely to be doing these things because of your own low self esteem.

Do you feel better whilst you are in control? Do you feel a buzz when someone shows you attention? You. maybe feel at your best with multiple interests because it means you aren't fully invested and can separate your emotions at anytime.

Perhaps you are not even aware that your biggest fear is rejection. It's highly likely that something in a previous relationship or your childhood has lead you to this position. But you're hurting people and no matter what monster you suspect is at work inside you, no one likes to hurt people.

Its time to STOP.

Here's my top tips to get your relationships on track.

  1. Get some relationship therapy and understand yourself. Understand why you do what you do and lift the hood on your actions.

  2. Get brave and get emotional. Following relationship therapy, you'll find this easier.

  3. Focus on your future. Is this chaos really what you want forever?

  4. Work out what you want, be honest and speak about this upfront.

  5. Above all be kind and do the right thing.

  6. Identify your level of self esteem (really) and work to improve it. Affirmation from others is rarely needed when you value yourself.

Breaking habits is hard but if you are attracting bad relationships look at the common denominators. Are you clear about the relationship style you want to engage in and are your attraction styles and actions suited to that?

If you use dating apps, be aware these can sometimes be well suited to those looking for chaotic short relationships, read between the lines and watch for the red flags.

Change comes from you first.


Amy Dixon, Divorce and Relationship Coach

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